"When you say 'others', do you mean -- others?"
- Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant)
"Insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops."
- Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant)
"A secret proclamation? How unusual!"
- Teddy "Roosevelt" Brewster (John Alexander)
"I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was
totally without basis in fact, was in no way fair comment,
and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any
distress that my remarks may have caused you, or your family,
and I hereby undertake not to repeat such a slander at any
time in the future."
- Archie Leach (John Cleese)
"The London Underground is not a political movement!"
- Wanda Gerschwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis) to Otto (Kevin Kline)
"Personally, I like the University. They gave us money
and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything. You've
never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out
there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results."
- Doctor Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd)
"Yes sir. I know it makes a terrible noise, excellency. It was
installed for just that purpose."
- The chief guard at the Kleber-Lafayette Museum (Jacques Marin)
"The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as
the party of the first part."
- Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx)
"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am."
- Darth Vader (David Prowse)
"Wait a minute... this wouldn't have anything to do with the
fact that the Tysons have the largest holding of sugar cane
in Porto Rico, would it?"
"Second-largest; the largest have no daughter."
- David Larrabee (William Holden) and Linus Larrabee (Humphrey Bogart)
"They say you're the world's only living heart donor."
- Sabrina Fairchild (Julia Ormond) to Linus Larrabee (Harrison Ford)
"What was Linus like as a boy?"
- Sabrina Fairchild (Julia Ormond) and her father (John Wood)
"When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way,
in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends."
- Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) about his dark side
"I'd like the chef salad please with the oil and vinegar on the side and
the apple pie a la mode."
"Chef and apple a la mode."
"But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real if it's out of a can then nothing."
"Not even the pie?"
"No, just the pie, but then not heated."
- Sally Albright (Meg Ryan), confusing the waitress in a road side cafe because "Well I just want it the way I want it." as she states later on
"It's amazing, you look like a normal person but actually you're the Angel of Death."
- Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) to Harry Burns (Billy Crystal)
"But really what's so hard about
finding an apartment? What you do is, you read the obituary column. Yeah,
you find out who died, and go to the building and then you tip the doorman.
What they can do to make it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real
estate section. Say, then you'd have `Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two
children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning
- Harry Burns (Billy Crystal)
"It's so awful there's no way even to begin to explain what's so awful
- Marie (Carrie Fisher) about Jessīs wagon wheel coffee table
"Any more sentimentality around here, I shall instantly go back
to the hospital."
"Not very likely; they won't take him back. He wasn't really discharged, you know, he was expelled. For conduct unbecoming a cardiac patient."
- Sir Wilfrid Robarts (Charles Laughton) and Nurse Plimsoll (Elsa Lanchester)