Terry Pratchett

Johnny and the Bomb

"The High Street was what Blackbury District Council called a Pedestrian Precinct and Amenity Area, although no-one was quite sure what the amenities were, or even what an amenity was. Perhaps it was the benches, cunningly designed so that people wouldn't sit on them for too long and make the place untidy. Or maybe it was the flowerbeds, which sprouted a regular crop of the hardy perennial Crisp Packet. It couldn't have been the ornamental trees. They'd looked quite big and leafy on the original drawings a few years ago, but what with cutbacks and one thing and another, no-one had actually got around to planting any."

"`He's good at fried bread. And Surprise Surprise.'
`What's that ?'
`You know that stall on the market that sells tins that've got the labels off?'
`Yes ?'
`Well, he buys loads of those. And you've got to eat them once they're opened.'"
- Johnny and Yo-less, talking about Johnny's grandad

"Wobbler wasn't even a nerd. He wanted to be a nerd but they wouldn't let him join. He had a Nerd Pride badge and he messed around with computers. What Wobbler wanted was to be a kid in milk-bottle-bottom glasses and a deformed anorak, who could write amazing software and be a millionaire by the time he was twenty, but he'd probably settle for just being someone whose computer didn't keep smelling of burning plastic every time he touched it."

"`How come you're such an expert ?' said Wobbler.
`Well, I've got three shelves of Star Trek videos,' said Yo-less."
- discussing problems of time travel